I WOULD BUT……

To say I have lost count of the number of times I have said this very phrase would be a tremendous understatement. Many times we all use this word along with its siblings, should have and could have, to talk ourselves out of the very things which we seek. The world, especially our generation seems to be very hung up on “removing negative people and vibes from our life”, it is all about #positivevibes and even I have subscribed to it, even though I pride myself on not always subscribing to social trends of the time.

I bought myself a cushion with the sayings GOOD VIBES ONLY from New Look and it takes full pride on my bed.

 I mean the last month of 2016 all social media accounts had the #nonegativevibes & #positivevibes trending like crazy. My cousin had this picture as her DP for a while and of course, trust Twitter and Instagram to come up with a meme to combat it.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely think it’s great that we are recognising the toxic things, people and situations that surround us daily and stump our growth but how many of us know that the enemy within us must first be conquered? There is an African proverb that goes like this “if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm”. Ironically, having naysayers around us doesn’t always stop us from pursuing our dreams, for some people, it becomes the energy by which they are fuelled to pursue that particular goal, if not for anything, but to prove the naysayers wrong.

In one of Les Brown’s motivational speeches, he talks about a friend, who hated her job and when asked why she didn’t quit, she said I WOULD BUT, he then decided to take a survey and found that the word BUT kept coming up for most people who weren’t pursuing or doing the things they wanted to do, going to places they wish to go or simply living the life they want.

He went on to say, “But is an argument for our limitations and when we argue for our limitations we get to keep them”

For while I, like many others, liked to hide behind the word BUT. Only a couple of days ago one of my closest friends pointed something out to me. I was telling her about an event that I really wanted to go to BUT (I mean see how it fits nicely in there, and in case you didn’t guess one of the siblings is going to join very shortly) could (😉) not go to because, well I have to book the days off work, and it’s expensive and close to another event I planned to go this year, and I really want to save money this year, I have a lot of things planned this year, I could go on with all my excuses. I felt my answers or excuses depending on the perspective taken, were justified and so I was quite taken aback when she said and I quote “you’re not serious, if you really wanted to go, those things should not stop you”. Of course, I was initially taken aback, I couldn’t help but think she was not ‘getting me’, however, upon reflection I realised she was right. Excuses come easily and flow fluently when we don’t necessarily want to step into an unknown place.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes our excuses are very much justified, nonetheless do we ever condition ourselves to take the steps to which we no longer have those excuses? A well-worn path is easy to take; it’s already carved out, and the steps set, direction and destination, even when not physical can still be seen right in front of you no matter how far it is; for It is Known. And so often we settle for known hells, rather than unknown heavens.

I mean I have wanted to start a blog for a while now, BUT, well there’s a lot that follows that BUT which I know most of you guys can relate so I will not bore you with it. For me to take a step in the direction of my “dreams”, and I use this term lightly as it differs for everyone is absolutely terrifying. Many mistakes will be made and I know I must be prepared to fall just as I am ready to soar. Hard work, discipline, and perseverance are skills to be continually developed and mastered to carry on the act of pursuit. The most important thing is to pay close attention to my inner conversations, for my motivation must first come from within – ‘as a man thinks so he is before the motivation of others can spur me on.  So this year, instead of scaring myself to death and blowing things out of proportion with my imagination, it will serve me best, to have my fears and use them to drive me towards my goal than to let my fears have me.

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